At the Beginning
by Little Moose
Summary: FINISHED! COMPLETED! DONE! A mission goes terribly, terribly wrong and Ayame is suffering both physically and mentally. Wufei will do whatever it takes to get her his fire cracker back. Rated M for rape and some more violence in the future. This takes place during the war. The imagine I'm using was drawn for me, so I have every right to use it.
1. Pain

**At the Beginning**

**Gundam Wing **

**Disclaimer and Author's Note: So this rated M for many reasons, if rape turns your stomach I suggest you don't read this. I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. I don't know where this one is taking place, but in this one. Wufei and Ayame are together. **

**Chapter One**

Everything seemed perfect. If she had just kept her big mouth shut, maybe, just maybe she wouldn't be in this predicament. If she wasn't in such a fit of rage, if she had just swallowed her pride and apologized then they wouldn't have fought. But here she is, surrounded by the enemy with their guns locking onto her one after the other. Full of bitter regret Ayame dropped her dinky gun and put her hands over her head as she kneeled on the ground. If she wanted to she could easily get out of this, kill some guys here and there and flip her locator on. Unfortunately, the searing pain in her leg was distracting and so were her capture's grin. They freaked her out because they weren't the normal emotionless faces. They were the exact opposite, they looked twisted and perverted. Her stomach turned, just thinking what horrible thoughts these depraved men were thinking just made her want to die.

_Where did this mission take a turn for the worse? _Ayame thought as she was being handcuffed.

"Hold on." A stern voice echoed behind the soldiers. The men parted like the red sea to reveal their leader, she was going to call him Scarface, mainly because of his scarred face. Scarface roughly took her chin in his hand and twisted it side to side. "We're not taking any prisoners, remember?" He sunk down to her level and looked her straight in the eye. Cold, calculating eyes—the eyes of an alpha. "We need to send the rest of her team a message…"

He stood; twirled in the direction he came from and crossed his hands behind his back. "Don't ruin that pretty face of hers." As soon as the order was given, Ayame stood to make a run for it. After jumping off one guy's face she thought she might make it out of there, but her negative karma points were cashing in. She was dragged from the air to the mucky ground and was pinned. She fought back, managed to punch and elbow a few in the face, but eventually the soldiers pinned her down completely. A man towered over her, grinning with his top teeth showing; a dark lust filled tint in his eyes. A twinge of fear exploded in her stomach, not being able to move when he shoved her legs apart just made it worse. Once he settled himself in between her legs he began to work on her pants. She thought about closing her eyes, but showing these men fear would only entice them. So she starred through him and for a split second her mind flashed to the very person she was fighting with.

Through the struggling, through the wrestling, Ayame did all she could to delay whatever tortures this man had in store for her. She felt the fabric of her pants slip down her legs, his hands toying with her as his eyes took in her angry and terrified expressions. Feeling a pinch in her lower abdomen and then a fiery sensation spreading throughout her entire body Ayame knew what had happened.

She choked back a sob as the man began to work a rough rhythm, grunting every time he thrusted deeper and deeper. She couldn't take it; she couldn't stand to look at this man any longer. Squeezing her eyes tight she tossed her head to the side. The hands from the other soldiers disappeared, knowing that she wasn't going to fight back anymore. Feeling his lips on her skin, leading up and down trails along her neck Ayame almost came alive with rage and then guilt. Remembering the spot where Wufei cradled her head whenever they kissed, the soft notions he would whisper in her ear when he thought no one was watching. It all came flooding back. The will to survive rushed through her, but her body was spent, she had no energy to fight back.

Ayame pursed her lips and attempted to shut out all the noise that was going on around her. His pace was suddenly slowing down when she remembered the only weapon she had. A plan had begun to bloom. Ayame knew she had only seconds for this window of opportunity and she wasn't going to waste any of it. When the man was done, he hunched back onto his heels, breathing with satisfaction. Ayame was able to scoot back a few inches away from him, arching her knees a bit. She was able to swiftly remove the knife from her boot and with new found adrenaline Ayame kicked the man in dick and then swiped her knife across his neck. While he suffered, his comrades watched in shock as the blood poured out of the wound. The red head took that as her queue to rise and make a run for it.

While running through the dense forest she was able to pull her clothes together. For the few first miles she ran like mad, continuing even though the burning in her lunges was beginning to become painful. She felt as if she could run for hours, but her adrenaline was dying and the pain in her lower regions was starting to remind what had just taken place. Finding a good spot to stop, Ayame dropped heavily to her knees and wrapped her arms around her stomach. She huddled herself together, rocking on the balls on her feet until her nerves finally snapped and she threw up. Screaming in between sobs and gasps of air. Tears were free falling as her whales echoed throughout the woods.

Moving away from the stench, she leaned back against a tree and stared up at the sky through the branches that gave her cover. Ayame rummaged through her pockets and found her salvation—her locator. Eyeing the button, her thoughts wandered. What would they think after she reported what had happened? What would he think? More importantly, would she be able to get through this? With just wanting to go home, Ayame pressed the button. Dropping her hand to the ground the locator rolled out of her reach and she waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And continued to wait.

Until she was awoken by firm shakes to her shoulders. Out of panic, her eyes snapped open and with rapid movement she brought her knife out again, tackled the person in front of her and held the knife under his chin.

Trowa had his arms hooked underneath her armpits, while Duo had a hand on hers—the two trying to keep her from killing the Chinese pilot. When reality had sunk in she took in Wufei's shocked dark orbs, his hair scattered around his head. Taking a deep breath Ayame let Trowa bring her back until she was sitting on her knees. Trowa's hold on her shoulders didn't leave until he knew she was calm and Duo stole her knife. Ayame couldn't meet Wufei's eyes; her body shook with slowing rage, but growing fear. Fear of rejection, fear of the nightmares.

The Chinese pilot sat there for a few moments, questioning what had just happened. His comrade, more so, his girlfriend, was just holding a knife to his neck. Ready to kill him. But the question that was lingering on his tongue was, "Ayame…why are you shaking?"

He reached out to touch her, to run his hand through her hair, but she back away. Drawing her knees to her chest, Ayame ducked her head into her lap, the trailing hair hiding the tears that were free falling. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…sorry…" Ayame muttered over and over through gasps of breath and sobs.

Hesitantly, Wufei inched closer, slowly stretching a hand behind her head. When she didn't react violently, he brought her into his chest. An arm around the small of her back was holding her tightly. He was confused, but not really. Wufei knew why she was apologizing, but the crying and shaking was what he was confused by. He held her for a few seconds until Trowa said that they needed to get out of the area just in case there were soldiers canvasing close by. He gently picked her up, her nose nuzzling the area just underneath his chin and carried her back to their unmarked car.

She was in and out of consciousness when the three of her fellow comrades spoke amongst themselves. Her head was resting in Wufei's lap as he soothed over her bangs. His knuckles barely skimmed over her cheek whenever he reached her jaw bone.

"What you're saying Duo, it doesn't seem plausible." Wufei said as firmly as he could muster. What Duo had suggested was not only terrible, but something like _that_ happening to a girl he loved dearly didn't seem right. His stomach turned and the knots only grew when he glanced down at her. Her puffy eyes seemed mismatched against her soft expression of sleep.

"I know it seems hard to wrap your head around that kind of scenario, but trust me Wufei, I've seen the after effects of…" Duo couldn't bring himself to say the word, it was disgusting, like morning breath after a night of drinking. It tasted like something had died in your mouth and had been rotting for months. But he continued, "When I was a kid in the colonies, there was a group of us and a lot of the girls and some boys went through the same thing. They would become violent if you got rough with them and just stared crying for no reason. I'm just saying, it probably wouldn't hurt to have her looked at."

Wufei's solemn orbs casted downwards, could the idiot pilot actually be right for once. But there was something that he needed to know. "These kids that were…assaulted, how did they turn out?"

Duo opened his mouth to reply, but his bright eyes sunk deeper, darker, his crooked smile disappearing. He turned around in his seat and starred his fidgeting hands, not a good sign.

"We have to ask her first, I don't want to do anything without her consent. Especially, if what you're implying, Duo didn't even happen." Wufei said as he rubbed her arm gently, she flinched underneath his touch and he cringed. Knowing that, for once, Duo was probably right. God he hoped the American pilot was wrong.


	2. Sickening

**Chapter Two**

**Disclaimer and Author's Note: So this rated M for many reasons, if rape turns your stomach I suggest you don't read this. I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. I don't know where this one is taking place, but in this one. Wufei and Ayame are together.**

Ayame awoke in a bed. Her bed. In her room that Wufei occasionally stayed in. There was a cold rag on her forehead. When she moved to get up there was soreness everywhere. She was dizzy and her head was pounding. Something stirred next to her, in the fresh morning light pouring into the room she could barely make out Wufei's figure sitting next to her. He was just sitting upright, in an uncomfortable chair, with his arms crossed over his chest, but somehow he looked peaceful. Maybe it was the sunlight casting elegant brushes of light on his toned muscles.

After taking a moment to go through the events that occurred yesterday she decided to try and sit up again. Just when Ayame thought she was going to be okay, her head started splitting along with her vision. She grabbed the head post next to her, making a noise, stirring Wufei out of his dreams. Being a natural morning person Wufei was able to jump to her side to help the female pilot find balance. Taking a seat next to her on the mattress, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders—holding her close.

Wufei cooed her, trying to relax her, "take it easy, the fever you've had for the last couple of days has been pretty bad."

Ayame's head was swimming, "a couple of days? What are you talking about?"

Wufei shook his head, "it's been three days since your last mission, remember?"

She did and how she regretted it. The tears were threatening to rain when the lump in her throat began to swell.

"Ayame," Wufei tucked strands of hair behind her ear. He pursed his lips guiltily; he couldn't bring himself to ask her. Not yet.

She sniffed, "I'm sorry…I just…my head hurts."

"You have a minor head injury, so that's probably why." Wufei replied seeing Heero's good handy work at dressing a wound.

For a few minutes they sat in silence. One wanting to tell everything, to cry and beg for forgiveness and the other wanting to ask everything. But a knock of salvation came to the door and soon a clown appeared before them.

"I just wanted to check in." Trowa said carrying a tray of tea, "Quatre made some food, if you two are hungry."

Ayame was thankful for the food, but her stomach wasn't cooperating. Jumping up, she rushed out of the room, down the hall and into the restroom. Wufei and Trowa weren't far behind her, but she locked the door in their faces. Wufei's banging on the door brought the others to the hall. With watchful worried eyes, they could barely make out the sound of Ayame retching into the toilet. Wufei pleaded with her to open the door, but his patience was wearing thin. When the noises stop, Wufei asked once more, but it was eerily silent. Giving a nod to Trowa, the two broke down the door.

The site of Ayame on the floor completely spent and crying broke his heart. Now there was no doubt in his mind that something happened to her and he needed to know what.

Giving Wufei a break from watching over Ayame, Quatre tucked her into bed and made sure the IV that Heero set her up with was in a safe position. The Chinese pilot was on the phone, speaking softly, but everyone knew who he was talking to. He hung up the phone and sat at the table, his head in his hands. Duo set a cup of coffee in front of his worn out friend, who in return ran both hands through his hair. It was only late in the afternoon and he was already set to go to bed. It was partially due to pulling all-nighters to watch Ayame and help bring her temperature down.

"You look like shit." Duo chuckled behind his cup and in return Wufei glared at him across the table, "Just saying."

Wufei cupped the handle of the mug and brought it to his lips, "yes, well, could you please stop being so overly honest. I'd hate to have to break that face of yours."

Duo was about to retort with something, but Heero walked in with his trusty laptop. "When will Sally arrive?"

"Soon," Wufei replied, but not soon enough. He would rather wait to get the whole story from Ayame, but she needed to be taken care of—both physically and mentally. They sat there, Duo carelessly drinking his coffee, Heero typing away at demon speed and Wufei thinking—plotting. If he ever found out who did this to her, he might enjoy slowly torturing the man.

Trowa interrupted his thoughts by tapping his friend on the shoulder, "update from Quatre. She's asleep and out of danger."

Duo and Wufei audibled sighed in unison. "Why don't you get some sleep yourself, Fei? It'll be a few hours until Sally arrives. We'll wake you when she gets here." Duo said reassuring him with a soft smile towards his friend and comrade. If there was one thing about Duo that Wufei liked was that he could always trust him, no matter what. Without saying a word, Wufei retreated to his room. The room seemed even emptier without Ayame lying in his bed, with her head in the palm of her hands as she either read something or just watched Wufei meditate.

Collapsing onto the bed, Wufei folded his hands behind his head and starred at the ceiling. Within minutes his eyes grew heavy and soon fluttered shut. His mind wandered into memories about how she tested his patience during his meditation sessions. His personal favorite was when she soothed her lips over his exposed neck and shoulders. Her hands delicately brushed over his muscles when she sucked on his ear lobe, her hands slowly made their way down his chest pressing and digging into his skin the farther they went down. When he snapped his eyes opened and budged, she was expecting it, but he pinned her down quickly teasing her the same way.

"Hey Wufei, wake up!" Duo shouted from the door, keeping his distance. The last time he woke the Chinese man he ended up with a concussion and a few fractured bones. The braided idiot ignored the death glare coming from the comforter, "Sally is here by the way. She's been talking to Ayame for a few minutes now."

Wufei threw the covers off and attempted to escape from his room, but Duo blocked his path. "What are you doing, idiot?" Wufei asked clenching his fist, "let me pass!"

Smiling cockily Duo answered, "No."

A growl burned deep in Wufei's throat as he stared at the idiot's arm that blocked his way. There were a million things he could do to get free, but the calm look in his eyes halted his actions. "This is something that Ayame can't talk about in front of us guys, so for right now leave them alone, okay?"

His body completely relaxed after hearing the truth ring loud and clear in his ears. Wufei forgot, that every once and awhile, the idiot can say things that made sense. Smiling, Wufei bowed his head and nudged Duo out of the way. He needed something to eat, but questioned if he should. His stomach was in knots waiting to hear Ayame's story. Knowing her though, she probably wouldn't tell anyone until she was ready. And Ayame wasn't good at sharing what she was thinking, let alone feeling. Even after being together for a couple of months he got the feeling that she was still keeping secrets from her.

Wufei stopped suddenly at the bottom of the stairs. What if she kept everything to herself? What if she bottled this up along with everything else? This type of problem would eat her from the inside out, turn her way of thinking to rot and contaminate what Wufei fell in love with. She was like a breath of fresh air and with her mind so polluted would everything around her begin to suffocate and die?

Not if he could help it. No way in hell.


	3. Declaration

**Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer and Author's Note: So this rated M for many reasons, if rape turns your stomach I suggest you don't read this. I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. I don't know where this one is taking place, but in this one. Wufei and Ayame are together.**

The boys sat around the television, Duo was flipping through channels until he stopped on a movie, no one has seen it and it looked dumb, but they needed the noise. Wufei's irritation was practically palpable, he seemed relaxed, but he was a pro with his signature poker face. His arms were crossed over his chest, his fingers beat against his skin every other second and his leg bounced on the ball of his heel. No one could blame him though, after all, Ayame and Sally have been in her room for a good two hours. Sally threatened to poison them with many different medicines if anyone interrupted her time with Ayame and Sally was a woman not to be messed with.

Ayame sat in the middle of her bed, hands folded in her lap as Sally took her vitals, in silence. The brunette's expression was too much to take in all at once. It was so strange to see the usual fiery, rambunctious and quick tempered Gundam pilot so pathetic. She wore the saddest frown, dried and chapped from the lack of moisture. The once radiant blue eyes shone with negativity and despair. All Sally wanted to do was gather the poor girl up in her arms and hold her until Ayame's head popped off. But she was here on business and the worst part was coming up.

Telling Ayame to lie on her back and bend her knees was probably something she never expected to say to the strong young girl. Hesitantly, Ayame did as she was told, but kept her legs closed. Coaxing her young friend, Sally reminded her that the man could not hurt her anymore, that she was safe and that she was a doctor. Ayame took a few deep breathes and eventually widened her slender legs. It was awkward, having someone swabbing and prodding down there. She kept her focus on the ceiling, trying to ignore her embarrassment and prayed that this would all be over.

Her wish was granted when Sally pushed her legs down and covered Ayame with the blanket once more. "There wasn't too much physically damage, but if you notice anything please call me. I'll have everything that I collected tested and get back with you." Sally rambled off. She put her medical supplies away and set them aside.

Ayame was back in her original position; her eyes locked onto her hands and refused to look at the woman doctor. All she wanted was to take a shower and sleep, her body was aching for it and that's when she felt Sally's hand smooth over hers.

"Ayame you can talk to me." Sally's voice was soft, calm. It reminded her of someone and the thought of him only brought on more guilt. "I promise you everything will remain between you and me."

Pursing her lips together and rolling her eyes shut with tears stinging the edge, Ayame glanced up and the flood gates opened. The meek reassuring smile Sally wore was so inviting and warm she couldn't help herself. Ayame's upper half crouched lower to the bed, her hair falling over her shoulders—shielding Sally of the pitiful site. Taking her queue, Sally moved from her chair and onto the bed; wrapping an arm around Ayame's shoulder and pushed back some hair.

"I was so terrified and powerless!" Ayame began, "I tried to be strong and I tried to not show any of them fear, but I just couldn't. I looked away like a coward and gave up! How am I supposed to live with myself, how?! I can't stop seeing that man's disgusting face or stupid voice whenever I fall asleep."

Sally sat there, rubbing her shoulder smoothly as the young girl vented, "I can't bring myself to look at Wufei because I'm afraid! I'm afraid of what his face will say I'm afraid that he'll push me away and not want me! I can't lose him, I can't. He's the best thing that's ever happened to and I'll die if he hates me."

In the midst of her rant, Sally removed herself from Ayame's side—her eyes became clearer when she saw the figure panting in the door way. Wufei looked wore out, not from running up to her room, but from everything else. Hearing Ayame's honest feelings his dark orbs became clouded with determination and ran to her. He engulfed her in the tightest hug, an arm wrapped around her shoulders and the other around the middle of her back. Sally snuck out and closed the door when she sensed that they needed to be alone.

Wufei began kissing her hair and began leaving a trail of fluttery kisses from her temple to her cheek. The arm that was wrapped around her shoulders moved so that her head was being cradled in his strong hand.

He brought their lips together in a deep and passionate kiss, like always they fit together perfectly. They were never in rush when it came to something so sweet and simple. When it was just the two of them they understood each other without words. She gasped for air when Wufei finally released her, "I could never hate Ayame, never in a million years. You mean too much to me, you've always been there for me and everyone else. So please let me help you for once, let us be there. Please, don't shut me out."

Hearing the gentle words whispered to her Ayame began to cry once more. Not out of fear or anger, but the overwhelming feeling of love from Wufei. He normally would never say anything so gushy and heart wrenching, but she believed this was something he needed to get off his chest. Wufei cupped her face in his hands, smoothed over her cheeks and swooned deeply into her eyes. "I would do anything, be anything, to make the pain you're feeling disappear. If I had to kill the bastard that did this to you, so be it. I would make love to you to for hours; days even, if it would make you forget everything that monster did to you. I would make it so you would remember my touch and my touch only."


	4. Locating

**Chapter Four**

**Disclaimer and Author's Note: So this rated M for many reasons, if rape turns your stomach I suggest you don't read this. I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. I don't know where this one is taking place, but in this one. Wufei and Ayame are together.**

**Huge thanks to Jenni Jupiter for her awesome review. Its reviews like that that keeps my creative juices going.**

Everyone had a coffee cup in their hands and was talking amongst themselves until Wufei and Quatre entered the room. After Sally practically forced sleeping medication down Ayame's throat everyone retired to the dining room. Clearly something in the air needed to be cleared because every single one of them stopped speaking and looked to Sally.

She sighed heavily. This was going to be a first for them, she knew that much. They had just gotten used to having a female on the team, but something like rape was a whole other story. She waited until Quatre and Wufei were settled into their seats, Wufei looked like hell. Sally knew he wouldn't accept it, but she thought about asking the stubborn pilot if he would like sleeping medication himself. Apparently, Wufei had telepathic abilities because he shook his head and glared at Sally. So she tucked the silly thought away. Wufei was not the type of guy to use those sorts of medication, it didn't matter how tired he was—he just simply refused.

"Let me be blunt," Sally began, "this isn't going to be easy. It's important that you pay close attention to any changes in her mood and behavior. It shouldn't be too hard to see her change given that her personality is pretty much clear cut stone cold badass. Her emotions are always in check, but from what everyone here has told me she doesn't exactly show those emotions either."

"She's gotten better." Wufei reassured, but right now he couldn't even guess how she'll react on those emotions.

"Well there's two ways that this can go." The boys stiffened as Sally paused, "she will either withdraw farther into herself, which you should be prepared for. She won't eat, she won't sleep and she most likely won't speak. These are minor signs of depression, but if you suspect self-destruction please call me. If this isn't treated Ayame won't be able to recover."

"Ayame wouldn't…" Quatre muttered what everyone was thinking.

"Despite her personality and what you all have gotten used to, I suggest you keep a close eye on her." Sally said and sipped on her coffee until her face brightened up with a last thought, "you should all move out of this house. Moving to a different, brighter, location will help her recuperate."

"Will the mountains work? It has fresher air, there's nature everywhere you look. If my memory is correct, there's also a hot spring." Quatre chimed, obviously talking about one his family's many mansions around the world.

Sally agreed, "You should leave right away. I'll ask Howard to pick up your gundams and move them to a different location."

After urging Sally to leave, that the five of them could handle this, the boys got to work on packing up the things they absolutely needed. In the back of the van they tucked away their suitcases and overnight bags and a medium sized cooler full of food and drinks. Quatre made a small bed in the back of the vehicle, making sure that she would be safe while not being too confided.

Trowa did a last walk through of the house, making sure they hadn't forgotten anything. He made his way to Ayame's room, Wufei locked the window and then turned to the knocked out figure in the bed. He had already removed the IV and catheter from her person; Wufei put all of her medication into a zip lock bag and decided to have it on him in the car. Just in case.

Trowa let a small smile show as he watched the Chinese pilot act gentle towards the unconscious girl, "ready?"

Wufei snapped up and looked awkwardly out the window. Trowa shook his head as he made his way to help his comrade with her belongings; Wufei was still awkward when it came to showing affection towards someone in front of someone else. With some blankets hanging over one arm and bag of medication in the other hand, Trowa followed Wufei out of the room. Ayame hadn't stirred at all when Wufei lifted her out of the bed and safely into his arm.

"Get the lead out, Fei! We want to get there before we're fifty!" Duo yelled with a cocky smiled plastered from ear to ear.

Wufei shot a glare at the annoying pilot while making his way around the van. His lips curved upwards seeing the small bed made up in the back of the vehicle. Somehow he had managed to weave through the rows of seats with the unconscious girl without waking her. With Trowa's help he placed Ayame's legs on the cushion of the seat, with her head in Wufei's lap and tucked her in with a blanket. He gave his Chinese comrade a meek smile before climbing in the front passenger seat. Quatre came out after making sure that the water was turned off and got in the driver's seat. The middle row was left and was soon filled with Duo's banter and Heero's signature silence.

As soon as everyone was buckled and ready, Quatre started their adventure to the cottage in the mountain. Every few hours he would rattle off how far away they were from the house and bits of pieces of the town that was down the mountain. It was about three hours into the drive when Duo started complaining about being cooped up and needing a rest room. With Wufei's long reach it wasn't difficult for him to slap the idiot over the heat. Duo turned towards him, pouting and ready to start complain again when Wufei motioned to Ayame who was slightly stirring. Duo grimaced knowing that if he continued his tantrum and woke up the female pilot Wufei would throw a tantrum of his own—all over Duo's face, without holding back. He mouthed an apology and turned back around, remaining quiet until Quatre pulled into a gas station combined with a diner.

Jumping out of the car, Duo stretched his legs and wandered off in a crazy sprint. Quatre mutter off something about him acting like a kid that was on vacation and the two quiet soldiers agreed. Wufei remained in the back seat with Ayame still asleep, an arm resting across her chest and letting his hand lazily hang over her shoulder. His left arm was propped up against the window, holding his head up, as he stared down at the girl with half lidded eyes.

Wufei spoke softly, "you can wake up now."

Ayame's empty blue eyes starred up at Wufei, "when did you know that I woke up?"

The serious arch in Wufei's eyebrows shifted to nonchalance, "it was when Duo started acting like an idiot when your breathing changed."

Sitting up, Ayame swung her legs over the edge and yawned, "Can you blame me? He can get so loud sometimes, it's annoying."

Wufei chuckled as he listened to Ayame's rant about the idiot pilot. He reached out and brushed aside some hair that was hanging over her shoulder. She flinched for a second, causing the young man to withdrawal his hand with a frown.

"Sorry," Ayame quietly muttered as she looked out the window. The gentle breeze swaying through the flowers that popped up randomly in the clean cut grass looked inviting. Ayame turned to him with a forced smile, "let's go outside. Being cooped up like this is must be driving you nuts."

Before Wufei could say anything she stepped out of the car and raised her hands to the sky. He shook the thought away and joined her in the field. Looking around he saw the other four inside the diner, sitting near the window laughing about something. Wufei turned his attention back to Ayame who had taken a seat in the field when he wasn't looking. Flashbacks of late wife sitting in a field like this before she died stirred unwanted feelings of anger and also an overwhelming need of wanting to protect the girl before him.

He sat next to her, smoothing a hand over hers and rested his head on her shoulder. Ayame was cut off guard; Wufei has never acted like this before because he was never into showing affection in public. She starred down at him and soaked up the whimsical look in his soulful orbs. She wasn't blind to what was going on around her; she knew how her situation was affecting him. Ayame wanted to open up to him, but she knew once she did then it would become real to both of them. She didn't know if their young relationship would withstand this kind of dilemma. It wasn't fair to Wufei to keep her emotions bottled up, but before she could confined in him Ayame needed to get herself together.

"So you two look comfortable." Duo's sudden voice made the both of them jump. The braided fool looked at the two with a blank expression, almost seeming irritated, but then he broke out in a wide smile. "We ordered food for you two, so you better come in and eat because the sooner we finish the sooner we get to the cottage."

Once Duo was out of ear range Ayame and Wufei looked at each other, rolling their eyes. Wufei was the first to stand and then helped Ayame up. She staggered a bit, the sleeping medication making her a bit dizzy. When they sat down at the table their food was already there and everyone had started eating. Ayame didn't have much of an appetite; Quatre seemed to sense this and ordered her some apple sauce, soup and crackers. The angle faced pilot smiled in her direction when she took a couple of bites and then continued eating his own meal.

After paying everyone climbed back into their seats and were on the road once more. This time, however, Ayame sat up straight, next to Wufei with her head on his shoulder. She read over his shoulder and questioned him whenever she didn't recognize a word. Ayame knew some stuff, but she wasn't fluent in it like Wufei was. So he was happy to teach her.

Driving for another hour they finally arrived at the cottage, exhausted and feeling a bad case of cabin fever after being in a car for such a long time. Quatre told them that there were plenty of rooms for every person, but everyone had made up their minds about sharing rooms with each other; Quatre with Trowa and Heero paired with Duo. Leaving Ayame and Wufei to either be by themselves or together. As everyone went inside the house with their bags Ayame turned to Wufei who was adjusting the bag hanging over his shoulder.

Wufei sensed her uneasiness, "What would you like to do?"

Ayame began to speak, but stopped herself. She felt stupid, relying on Wufei so much, but she couldn't shake the nervousness reaping throughout her body. Quietly, she muttered if Wufei would stay with her, but when he didn't reply her heart sank a little. Wufei's hand clasped her thin shoulder, looking up at him in response. A small reassuring smile was directed at her; he had heard her and was reply without the use of words.

Although, when she went to pick up her bags Wufei snapped at her and said she shouldn't overexert herself. Without arguing, Ayame let him carry their bags into the room. The room itself wasn't overwhelmingly large, but it was perfect for two people that didn't do much of anything. It had its own bathroom, with a large vanity and a four footed bath rub with winged handles. The bed was probably too large for them, but at least it left leg room if they wanted to be left alone for a while. It had no windows to speak of, but a large bay door that lead out to a balcony overlooking the entire area. From there they could see the hot springs and the rest of the mountain nature.

Wufei set the bags down and joined Ayame on the balcony. _This will be good for her_, he thought as cupped her hand in his. He was slightly confused when she pulled her hand away, Wufei was about to question her, but was stopped short when Ayame walked into his chest. She wrapped each arm around his slender frame, her fingers digging into his back, and buried her face the fabric of his shirt. He was hesitant at first, but he slowly engulfed her body with his arms and held her gently. Her body began to shake and soft sobs escaped her lips, he tightened hold on her slightly and held her head closer to his heart.

Calming words began to spill, like word vomit, from Wufei as he tried to coax her to relax. He fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor with the girl still in his arms. Wufei had her in between his legs as he cradled her head by his ear, he kissed her temple.

"I love you."

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry that this chapter is so long. I feel like I was just babbling throughout the entire thing. So I needed to end it there because this chapter would have gone on for another five pages. Also remember to review. Comment on what you think might happen and how Ayame will handle everything. **


	5. Love

**Chapter Five**

**Author's Note and Disclaimer: Thank you for all of the reviews! I'm happy you guys are really into this story. I do not own Gundam Wing. **

Ayame's eyes fluttered open; automatically she was greeted with the view of peaceful mountains. She went to budge, but her body was frozen. She panicked as she glanced around, seeing that her arms and legs were pinned. Her scared doe-eyes widened in fear as the musky scent before Ayame filled her nostrils. His cold eyes glared evilly down at the helpless girl. The feeling of his fingers digging and brushing into her skin made her stomach turn. His heavy voice lingered in her ears, causing her to twitch against the faceless men who pinned her.

She struggled to breathe as Wufei shouted her name, not knowing if he should touch her or not. Ayame's screams could probably be heard for miles, it was so high pitched and frightening sound his body froze.

Quatre, Trowa, Heero and Duo barged in on the scene. Wufei was barely moving, while his partner screams in agony with her face being pelted by tears. Clearly, Wufei was at a loss—his stare of fear being the dead giveaway. Quatre was able to move his friend away from the fray and tried to snap him out of his shock. The others tried their best to wake Ayame up without scaring her anymore. Duo was the one who left first, only to disappear for a second and came back with a glass of cold water.

He dumped the water on Ayame's face; she bolted up with a gasp of air and began coughing. Duo retreated into the bathroom and brought back a towel. He squatted next to her, pushing soaked hair out of her face and looked straight into her blood shot eyes.

"Who am I?" He asked.

Ayame didn't reply, she was confused—she knew him, but she couldn't think of his name right away.

Duo asked again with an unusual serious tone, "Ayame. Who am I?"

"…Duo."

He nodded approvingly, "Where are you? Who is in this room?"

Ayame cleared her throat and sobbed shakily, "One of Quatre's family's cottages." She paused and then muttered everyone's name.

Wufei stepped closer, wondering where his comrade was going with this interrogation. He looked to Quatre, who only smiled up at him.

"That monster is not here Ayame. He cannot hurt you." Duo said clutching her face, "repeat it."

Wufei interrupted, but Duo gave him a sharp look. Thrown off, Wufei stepped back. He made a mental note to ask Duo what he was doing.

Duo restated in a whisper, "Repeat it Ayame."

She felt like she was going to throw up, the acid was there, but it didn't feel right. With fresh tears stinging her eyes she uttered, "He can't hurt me."

"Why?"

She swallowed the acid and shuttered at the bitter taste going down her throat, "because he's not here."

Duo's wide smile sprung across his face, he leaned up and kissed her on the forehead as he wiped away the tears. Wufei flinched and took a step back. Jealousy. He was jealous of Duo because he could have done what he had just done. He could have woken her up like and console her with those orders. Duo walked over the sulking Wufei, patted him on the shoulder and nodded towards the door.

Quatre pushed everyone else out of Ayame's room and started a bath for her, muttering something about her catching a cold if she does change. She was sitting on the toilet, watching the tub fill up as Quatre kept bringing in things she really didn't need. He had poured in some sort of soap into the running water and instantly the room filled with the scent of flowers. The blonde haired pilot was about to pour something else in, but Ayame stopped him.

"I'll be fine Quat," She said with a tender smirk. "I can take care of the rest."

The boy looked upon the girl with a hint of nervousness. He didn't want to leave her alone, but Quatre knew he could stay.

Reading his mind Ayame reassured her friend with peaceful eye contact. "Can you go check on Wufei, for me?"

Quatre beamed back at her, his crystal eyes matching his happy grin. He nodded and disappeared behind the door, but poked his head in a second later, "please keep the door unlocked though. We lost the keys a couple of years ago and if you fell and needed help…"

"I got it mom, I'll leave the door unlocked." Ayame joked trying to ease his fear. She knew what he was thinking; she knew what everyone was afraid of. It was what she was afraid of. Suicide was something that she used to think about often after her family was killed in front of her. And that slow, dull ache was engulfing her heart once more.

Quatre walked into the kitchen finding only Heero and Trowa bustlingly about with getting a late breakfast on the table. Heero ever rarely cooked, mainly because he was always busy on his laptop, but the real reason was because he had no taste. However, with Trowa's help their food should be edible.

"Where's Wufei?" Quatre chimed glancing over at Heero who stirred some form of batter.

"He's with Duo," Trowa pointed to the backyard, "leave them alone for now Quatre."

"Is everything alright?" Quatre asked peering over Heero's shoulder as he walked over to the pantry full of plates and bowls.

Heero nodded, but Trowa replied with words, "They're just talking. Wufei probably doesn't know what to do when someone has an anxiety attack, so Duo, for once, is teaching him."

Quatre nodded in silence and then looked over at Heero who seemed to be having difficulties with the batter, "Heero. What are you making or attempting to make?"

Heero gritted his teeth and then dropped the bowl on the table, "it's supposed to be a pancake mix, but it's too damn thick. I don't remember it ever being this thick."

Quatre and Trowa broke out in laughter after they realized what Heero had just said. Of course Heero was at a loss and questioned if his comrades were finally going insane. It wasn't until after Duo and Wufei walked in when he figured out, thanks to Duo and his perverted way of thinking. He blushed slightly and gave up on his task. Duo took one look at it and knew right away that he put too much flour in this mix.

Wufei stepped closer to Quatre who was still laughing at Heero's not-joke. Without turning to him he asked where Ayame was at. Willingly, Quatre divulged the information and sent Wufei on his way.

Ayame was sitting in the middle of the large tub; her hands were tucked underneath her bent knees. The side of her face rested on the giant knuckles of her legs as she stared out the window that was next to the bathroom mirror. Her hair lost control of itself in the water, spreading out in every direction. The flower scent of the water had calmed her majorly and now she looked like she was day dreaming. When really all she was doing was spacing out—her mind was completely blank.

She heard the slight knock at the door, but figuring she imagined it she ignored the whole thing all together. It wasn't until Wufei called her name was she snapped awake. In the large vanity mirror she saw Wufei standing in the door way, his back turned to her, but his reflection watching her. Eyeing every visible curve he could see.

"You can come in, you know." Ayame said flat out, "I won't freak out on you, I promise."

Wufei was hesitant at first, but he slowly entered the pristine room. He sat on his knees while facing Ayame, she hadn't moved from her previous position. At first it looked like everything was covered, but then he noticed tiny bruises. He glared at them, knowing that they were from that disgusting waste of a human being did that to her beautiful porcelain skin. He brushed his hand over her shoulder, making the spots disappear.

Flashbacks of the night before flooded Ayame. He held her so tightly while she cried. She remembered kissing her hair and feathering his lips over her cheek. Of him telling her that he loved her. It must've been horrifying to see her like this, so defenseless. Completely and utterly broken.

"I'm sorry." Wufei muttered catching Ayame off guard. She wasn't excepting an apology especially when Wufei hadn't done anything. The Chinese pilot took her silence as a suggestion to keep going, "I'm sorry I stood there like an idiot when you were having a nightmare."

"Wufei…" Ayame began, but he interrupted.

"I was afraid that if I touched you while you were panicking that it would make things so much worse. And the last thing I want is to hurt you even more." Wufei explained, "I don't want to hurt you. I want to help. But I can't…"

Wufei chocked on his words as he looked away. He wasn't going to do what she was thinking, was he? Ayame swallowed hard, the familiar taste of acid trying to force its way up. He wouldn't, couldn't do that to her. Not when she needed him the most. Wufei met Ayame's eyes and immediately saw her fear. The grip around her shoulder became fierce as he hoisted himself and Ayame towards each other, their lips locking in a passionate and deep kiss.

"Stop that." Wufei ordered, "Don't think for a second that I'm leaving you. I've already explained to you the lengths I'm willing to go through to make that bastard pay."

A wave of relief washed over her mind, putting her heart at ease. Then realized that she was completely exposed she ducked back into the water, in the same position. She knew Wufei didn't mind her naked form, but she didn't think her and the others were that close. Sure she's seen pretty much every one walk around in the briefs in the morning, but her case was somewhat different.

"I won't pressure you into telling me what happened, Ayame." Wufei paused, "I want you to tell me when you're ready. I'm here for you, we all are. Just don't be your stubborn self and hide everything."

Ayame darted her attention in every corner of the room, avoiding Wufei's person all together. She didn't know if she could confine in him, to tell him every detail of what they did to her. Ayame feared that if he knew that she gave up at the last minute that he would hate her. Before she could answer there was a soft tap on the door, looking up the two saw Trowa reflection leaning against the opposite side of the door.

"Breakfast is ready." Trowa announced he stepped away, but then added to Wufei's comment, "Wufei is right. We're all here for you because we love you."

As soon as he disappeared Wufei stood, closed the door, grabbed a towel and held open for her. Ayame smiled gratefully and stepped out of the tub. Walking into his arms Wufei wrapped the towel around her slender frame. She muttered a thank you and finished tucking the towel to fit her. He cupped her face to look at him; lightly he kissed her forehead and left her to change.

They were in the middle of eating; talking amongst themselves and listening to Quatre go on about the hot spring and the many walking trails around the cottage. Ayame was a eating a little more than usual, but she still wasn't at her normal appetite. Occasionally, she could out eat Duo and still have room for an after meal snack. Wufei received a tap on his lap from Ayame, she handed him a napkin. Confused, Wufei took it and un-crumpled it. It only took him a millisecond to realize what the note meant.

_I promise._

**Author's Note: Clearly I'm getting a kick out of this as much as everyone else. I have no idea how this is gonna end, just letting you all know. But we're nowhere near the end.**


	6. Confession

**Chapter 6**

**Confession**

**Author's note and Disclaimer: Woohoo chapter six. I can't think of the last time I made it past five chapters without getting bored. I'm gonna speed things up in this chapter, not by a lot, but just enough to get the healing process going so I, personally, won't get bored. Thanks to everyone that has been reading along! I do not own Gundam Wing.**

A couple of weeks have gone by and so far nothing major has happened. For the most part Ayame seemed to be recuperating well. Like Quatre said, the nature was treating her well. And maybe not just to her, Wufei and the others were a bit more relaxed. Being away from the war and stress was something they all needed. Quatre made it a house rule to stay away from the news, mentioning the war would have resulted in some of punishment depending on the person.

Ayame's appetite somewhat returned and it felt like she was truly herself again, but everyone knew she was just putting up a front. Every other night she would wake up screaming, for the first couple of nights Wufei needed help to get her to calm down. Now, though, he was able to get his love back to sleep within minutes. Wufei was able to hold her at night again and make small gestures of love to her without her flinching away.

She found a lot of solace in the hot springs, the steam and soft sent of grass and flowers cleansed her mind as she worked through her issues. Ayame was never completely alone; however, on the other side of the fence at least one of the boys would be on the male half. They wouldn't talk, unless one of the two mentioned the milky way of stars above them. Ayame couldn't help, but feel safe in that sea—she always felt at home on Earth. Being space just made her anxious. Even in the colonies, with gravity, she still felt uneasy.

Trowa find her in the library, reading a new self-help book every time. It was their own little secret; no one else knew that she was seeking answers in those books. He would come find her when it was time for some form of meal time. They would walk to either the dining room or outside on the porch to join the others and neither of them would say a thing. Duo would try to get her to eat a little more each day, at first simple foods—applesauce, rice, chicken and Jell-O. Now, within just a few weeks, she was eating whatever anyone put on her plate, not all of it, but at least she wasn't throwing it up later on. Quatre and Ayame spent time in the music room, he called it therapeutic and she hated to admit it, but it worked. Ayame loved listening to his violin, it sounded like tiny whispers of happiness and she adored that.

Heero was another story; he wasn't good at emotional stuff like the others. So he would challenge Ayame to a race around the compound. Saying that exercising was good for her in more ways than one and she didn't mind. It got her out of the house for a while and majority of the time she would beat him. Ayame didn't know if the Japanese pilot was just letting handing her the victory on purpose or if he just actually lost. But if anything, it was confidence buster.

At night Wufei would read to her, in his native tongue, stopping every few pages when she didn't understand a word. Ayame would fall asleep in his arms, her head and hand resting on his chest while her free arm was tucked underneath his shoulders—hugging him. Wufei would usually protest to such physical contact, but Duo lectured his friend about pushing her away like this. He went over their conversation in his head…

"_You need to snap out of this, Fei." Duo warned, "I know this is difficult for you, but think about Ayame. Whatever you're feeling, it's a hundred times worse for her. We'll help her in any way we can, but she'll turn to you Wufei. You're the one that's closest to her and you cannot push her away or show hesitation. If you do, Ayame will suspect the very worst. That you don't love her."_

_Wufei's head snapped up with fierce and determined eyes, obviously feeling the exact opposite. Duo smirked widely and patted Wufei on the shoulder. "If you have to step out of your comfort zone Wufei, you have to do it. She'll rely on you more than ever. Besides maybe this is a good thing for you too."_

"_What do you mean?" Wufei asked._

_For a second Wufei thought the braided pilot was going to remain as serious as he has been, but when he smirked with a hint of mischief. "Maybe you'll finally learn how to love."_

_The Chinese pilot stood there for a moment, not bothering to hide his disgust from his face. He rolled his eyes and called his comrade an idiot and walked back inside. _

A few weeks in and everyone was starting to feel a little cabin feverish. Quatre's kitchen help made rounds amongst the cabinets and fridge and freezer and mentioned they needed some supplies. The blonde pilot saw this as an opportunity to get everyone out of the house. Everyone was up for it, especially Ayame. Within minutes everyone piled into the vehicle and Trowa drove them to town.

The farmer's market was bustlingly with the people from town. Duo got a kick out of it, he went to every booth that had free samples and Heero had to pull him away from every one. Ayame remained glued to Wufei's side, feeling slightly claustrophobic in the large crowd. Wufei glanced down at the girl and saw the uneasiness in her face. He leaned down and whispered her to stay close, before she could ask he was pulling her along. He weaved their path through the sea of people and booths until they were finally free in the park.

They found a park bench to rest on, catching their breath and smiling at one another. In a few minutes the two stood and began to walk around the small playground and pond while they took in the scenery. Children dodged around them as they played their games and made gross noises at the couple that was currently making out on a bench. The pit in Wufei's core tingled. He wondered how long it had been since the two were that close, so personal. How would she react if he were to hold her close to him as his hands traveled up and down her back? Would she freak out if she tugged on her hair when she refused to move her head so he could have free access to her neck?

Ayame was happy; right now she was so glad to be alive. She hadn't felt this free in forever. Here, there was no war, there was no rape. Everything seemed to sing and shine. Her arm was latched around Wufei's as they walked along the black path. She laughed at the group of children that were playing king of the mountain on the jungle gym and watched intently as a group of teenagers, close to everyone's age, play soccer.

They turned a corner and immediately Ayame stopped dead. Wufei's arm was pulled back and when he turned around to look at his partner his mouth hung open. The color from Ayame's face was gone, all of the radiance from her eyes was replaced with fear and her body trembled.

Stepping closer to her Wufei whispered, "Ayame…what's wrong?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but her voice was gone. Her brain was frozen with shock; she just simply stood there, staring. Wufei leveled with her and followed the direction to what she was looking at. It didn't take long to find the OZ soldiers being surrounded by attractive women looking for a good night out. But there was one in particular that was watching them. He was big, tall, his eyes were cold and calculating, his facial structure was perfect. He had the looks that any girl would fall for, with their mother pulling them away saying he was no good for them. It was the grin, that damn evil grin that shook Ayame to the core. Her gut told her to run, to run as fast as she could back to the compound.

She bolted out of the park, knocked over a few people without apologizing. Passing the farmer's market, dodging the eyes of her comrades as they saw her run like the wind. Trowa and Duo screamed after her as Heero and Quatre looked for Wufei who was catching up quickly. He ran past them, just wanting to find her before the hulk of a soldier got his meaty hands on her. Quatre ordered Trowa and Duo to go after them, while he and Heero got everything paid for and loaded.

Trowa and Duo had caught up easily, they were half way home, but there was a problem. Wufei had lost sight of Ayame somewhere amongst the trees.

"Damn she's fast." Duo panted as he leaned on his knees catching his breath.

"What happened?" Trowa questioned focusing on Wufei who was using a tree to hold himself up as he huffed for air. When he didn't answer Trowa asked again, "Wufei. What happened?"

"I don't know!" Wufei snapped, "Everything was fine until she saw those OZ soldiers."

Trowa and Duo looked at each other and then at Wufei. It took him a moment to realize what they were implying since they stopped using their words, when he caught on he rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth. His two friends flinched when Wufei simultaneously cursed loudly and punched the tree. With new found determination Wufei turned to them.

"Ayame is an expert at navigating through this type of terrain." Wufei uttered.

"Well yea, when we first met her she was the leader of that rebellion that lived in the forest." Duo added, "Where would she go? Back to the house?"

Trowa shook his head, "No. She would go where she feels safest and the house isn't it."

The three gathered together to brainstorm and calculate. "She could be anywhere. Quatre's place is huge, it's what 4,000 acres?" Duo inquired.

"More." Wufei answered as he went over her favorite places so far. "It has to be a place that's hidden well and not easy to get to."

Duo snapped his fingers, "when we first met her didn't she hold herself up in a cave or waterfall or something?"

Wufei's eyes lit up, knowing exactly what the braided idiot was talking about, "there's a water fall not far from here and it's impossible to climb up."

"Twenty bucks says Ayame climbed it." Duo joked as they began to run towards the massive rock formation.

Reaching it they realized how tough it was going to climb it. It was several feet high, not taller than the trees high, but they doubt anyone would live if they fell. Needless to say, this task would be easier if they had their gundams. They don't even know if Ayame was in there. Wufei had a thought, he told them to not to do anything until he check to see if Quatre had something that would help them out. So Wufei left them there. Mentally apologizing as he ran farther away from the house. Farther and farther away from his friends, most likely wondering if Quatre was even home yet.

He stopped short of a tree, a very large and old tree. Ayame and Wufei had found it on one of their many walks. The trunk split open, making a rather large hole that could fit a few people inside. He had slowly walked around it, tracing the bark with his fingers as he made it to the mouth. The site before him saddened him greatly. Ayame was curled up in a ball, each hand covering her ears, sobbing softly and trembling fiercely.

He announced himself, but she didn't respond she was too afraid to speak. He knew everything was ruined; all of the healing that had taken place in the last few weeks was dead. He grimaced and took a seat next to her; Wufei watched her from the corner of his eye and spectated on his next move.

"Wufei…" Her voice was so small, in so much pain. He looked down and saw that she was gripping his hand so tightly—the whites of her knuckles were showing.

Wufei turned his body slightly and held her hand with equal force. He wasn't sure if he should ask her the question he already knows the answer to. With his free hand he smoothed over her knuckles, wanting her to calm down. He was just about to speak, but her voice finally broke free. Like word vomit, everything spilled out. How her mission started, how everything went wrong, what Scarface had said and what that man did. Ayame told Wufei that she thought of him and wondered if he would be angry for giving up and crying.

She moved onto her knees, bowed her head as she fisted the dirt just before Wufei. "I was afraid that you'd hate me, Wufei. I was afraid that you would have found me disgusting and cast me aside like I was trash. I was so sure that as soon as you found out everything you would have left me." She continued to cry, "But all you've been is supporting and so loving. You and everyone have been so kind…and warm. Wufei…I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I let this happen. I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry…"

Ayame continued to apologize until Wufei pushed back the hatred he held for the man that broke the strong woman in front of him. He gathered Ayame into his arms and held her so tightly he thought he might snap the girl's back. Wufei fell back against the bark with Ayame still in his arms; he had a handful of her hair overflowing in his hand as he kissed her feverishly. His free hand wiped away the tears on one side of her face.

He broke away, the both of them gasping for air, but not letting go of each other. Wufei brought their foreheads together, the hand on the back of her head resting against the matted mess he created. "Stop apologizing Ayame. You've done nothing wrong. It was all that monster's fault not yours. So please, stop saying you're sorry."

Ayame released a small gasp seeing tears fall down his face; she cupped his face and whispered his name. He clasped one of her hands and tilted his head so his lips brushed the inside of her palm. She watched in amazement at the site in front of her unfolded. There was something bothering him, he refused to look her in the eye and then she realized that he hadn't been able to keep eye contact with her for the last few weeks.

"Wufei what is it?" She asked softly.

He shook his head and wrapped his arms around her waist, "not now okay? I can't ask it yet, so please just wait a little longer. I promise I'll tell you everything." He sniffed, feeling childish for even crying. He waited for a moment, giving Ayame time to process, but when she didn't respond he looked down and chuckled quietly. She had fallen asleep so quickly, almost like a kid after throwing a tantrum.

Wufei gave himself a moment to calm down and took a few deep breaths Wufei began to move out of the tree with Ayame in his arms. He adjusted the unconscious girl in his arms so her head was resting against his shoulder, drinking in her peaceful face. Her feathery eye lashes brushing against her cheeks, her pouting lips slightly opened as she inhaled quietly.

Quatre jumped up when a knock came to the screen door, looking over everyone was shocked to see Wufei carrying Ayame. Immediately after opening the door Quatre began to question Wufei, but stopped short when he saw a hint of red and puffiness to his friend's eyes. He frowned, automatically knowing that Ayame told him everything.

After putting Ayame to bed Wufei gathered a bowl of warm water and washed the dirt from her face and hands. Retreating to their bathroom he washed his own face, she had left dirty fingerprints on his cheeks. He smiled at them and then looked at his eyes. He looked like crap. It had been so long since he had cried like that. He ignored them entirely and left the bathroom. Before leaving the room he walked to Ayame's side of the bed and pushed strays of hair from her face and pulled the comforter up and over her shoulder. As he left the room and walked to where everyone was waiting he prayed there would be no nightmares tonight.

Arriving in the room he cut straight to the point and confirmed that the man they saw in town today was the one responsible for those nightmares. He made a personal vow to everyone, including Ayame, that he would kill that monster.

**Author's Note: OHSWEETJESUS I'M GOING TO GO CRY! I am so emotionally worn out after this chapter. There better be reviews when I come back!**


	7. Storm

**Chapter 7**

**Author's Note and disclaimer: So….this is a warning. I didn't think this chapter would get so violent, but it did. It escalated so quickly. But there is torture…please don't think terribly of me. I just wanted Wufei to beat him senselessly, but it just got so out of hand. And listening to metal music probably didn't help the situation either. As always, I do not own Gundam Wing. **

Ayame stirred, tossing and turning, as the sunlight slowly reached her face. Finally, she turned on her stomach and hid her head underneath a pillow. A low chuckled echoed from across the room, she sat up quickly—her hair overlapping her face and sticking up in every direction. She could barely make out Duo's form leaning against the shut door wearing his usual smirk and confident eyes.

"Wufei said you were a stubborn riser." Duo said making his way to the bay window and opened the curtains all the way and then the door.

"What else is new?" Ayame asked sarcastically and squeezed her eyes shut as more light penetrated her eyes.

"True." Duo agreed and made his way to her bed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. For a moment he looked as if there was something he needed to get off his chest. It was nagging at him, but he didn't know if he should be the one to tell her.

"Just come out with it already." Ayame said pushing her hair out of her face.

Duo pursed his lips and locked eyes with Ayame, "Wufei left."

The color from her face drained, she smiled nervously, "what?"

"I don't know when. Trowa was the one that spoke with him."

Duo wasn't able to finish his sentence. Ayame had already sprung out of bed, calling for Trowa and running towards the front of the house. Trowa had met her at the bottom of the stairs, catching her just as she missed the last step. She really was the clumsiest person first thing in the morning.

"Where's Wufei? Why'd he leave? Is he coming back?" Ayame rattled off.

Trowa cooed her, getting her to speak at normal pace so he and everyone could understand her. He asked Quatre to get her some tea and food as he guided her to the living room.

"No I don't need tea. What I want are answers, Trowa! Why in the hell would Wufei without saying anything?" She yelled making unnecessary arm gestures.

"Ayame sit down, we need to talk." Heero muttered and just when she was about refuse to follow his orders, he glared at her and then pointed to the couch. While pouting Ayame sat on the cushion and glared up at Heero. Quatre walked in with a tray of tea and handed one to his female comrade, although she politely passed on it. She was going to get as calm could get, for her anyway and no amount of tea was going to make her calmer.

"What the hell is going on?" She asked again her tone on the edge of irritation and pissed off.

"Wufei told us that you saw your attacker in town yesterday." Heero began watching as Ayame's body stiffened her micro expression rise. "He didn't tell us the details to spare you, but he was a bit angry."

Ayame glanced between Heero and everyone else for a few seconds.

"Angrier than usual," Duo added.

"He sore he'd get revenge for you." Heero confirmed, "He's going to kill the soldier that attacked you."

Her world began to spin, Heero's words weren't making any sense and Duo's pointless comments were becoming even more pointless. Ayame leaned forward and rested her head on her knees. She felt like throwing up. As much as she hated the soldier that raped her, she felt sorry for him. Wufei was not a person you wanted to make angry, he took justice so seriously he was willing to torture someone for hurting the person he loved the most.

Quatre was sitting next to her, rubbing her back in slow circles, when she sat up quickly. "We have to stop him!" She announced.

"Why?" Duo asked shrugging his shoulders, "why should we Ayame? Personally, I think this guy deserves everything that's coming to him?"

Ayame turned on her heels and glared determinedly at the braided pilot. "Why, Duo? Let me tell you why?"

She marched straight at him and stopped inched away from his body. He was freaked out; when she got like this there was no stopping her.

"I want this guy to suffer, I really do. But I don't want Wufei, the guy I love, to be the one to do it. How is that supposed to make me feel? Happy? Knowing that he's so angry he's willing to kill someone for my sake?" New tears threatened to overflow from the brim of her eyes, "least of all I don't want Wufei to stoop down to that monster's level!"

Heero and Trowa had pulled Ayame back a few feet when she had formed fists and started to shake.

"That doesn't make me happy, Duo! Not one bit! I want Wufei back! I want him back right now! And if I have to be the one to do it, then I will goddammit!" Ayame pulled herself from their grips and ran out of the room.

Changing into black pants and t-shirt, she strapped a holster around her hips and leg. Ayame stored several of her knives into her pockets that weren't already filled with ammo and flash grenades. She tied her hair back into a pony tail and laced up her boots before fitting her form with a black jacket. Bouncing down the stairs she met the boys who looked as ready as she did.

"Are you sure about this Ayame?" Quatre asked handing her the car keys. She was the only one who could track Wufei like hound dog, she could predict his every move so easily.

Ayame met the angle's eyes and then dropped them before heading out the door, "no. To tell you the truth I'm terrified. But I don't want Wufei doing this, if we have to drag him back to this place by tying him up then so be it."

"And with that motivational speech…" Duo twirled his gun around his slender finger, "let's go get that idiot."

Hector moaned as he began to feel the pulsating ache at the back of his head. The last thing he remembered was walking back to the hotel from the bar, alone, in the middle of the night. He sensed someone following him, but every time he looked over his shoulder no one was there. Hector had just made it to his car, fumbling with his keys, when Wufei struck him from behind.

Now the Chinese stood before him, his arms crossed along his chest as he glared at the OZ shoulder violently. The soldier smirked, remembering him from the other day with the girl he had the pleasure of meeting a few weeks ago.

"What's so funny?" Wufei asked calmly.

"This is for that slut I had my way with, isn't it?" Hector hissed, egging Wufei on.

For a minute he thought it worked as Wufei approached him, but he didn't attack him. Behind Hector stood a table of goodies that Wufei was able to _borrow_ from a butcher in town. Returning to the front of the man, Wufei held a small, simple kitchen knife. He admired the reflection of his eyes in the clean blade, Wufei stepped closer to the man and out of pure rage he stabbed the man in the leg.

Hector screamed and thrashed in his seat; somewhat hoping someone would hear him.

"No one will be able to hear you, Lieutenant Hector. We're in the middle of nowhere." Wufei spoke lowly as he twisted the knife making Hector squirm some more. Drinking in the agony on Hector's face, he grabbed the back of his head and forced the man to look Wufei in the eye, "and to answer your question. This is for her; I will make you feel everything that she has felt. Slowly and painfully you will know what it's like to feel powerless and just like you, I am going to thoroughly enjoy it."

Wufei released his hold on Hector's hair and returned to his table. Deciding what he should use next, the clever? He liked the idea of the flailing knife; it painted such a wonderful picture. As did the butterfly knife, he could take a little off the top of Hector's head—or maybe more.

Hector breathed out his pain deeply, hissing through his teeth as he began to adjust to the pain. He smirked, "if it makes it easier for you kid. She was a tight fit, definitely the best I've ever had."

Wufei froze, his eyes widening in shock. New rage swelled throughout his entire body after those words were spoken. Swiftly, Wufei kicked the tied up Hector to the ground—making the knife dig in deeper—and squished his face to the floor.

Hector's muffled laughter was all Wufei could hear. He lessened the weight on his face—wanting to hear this idiot dig a deeper grave for himself.

"She spoke your name several times. She wanted you, Wufei. She wanted you to come save her, but it was already too late. I made her mine and there is nothing you can do to take that away from me."

Wufei hoisted him up, pulled the knife out of Hector's leg and held it against his neck. "I have a few things in mind, Hector. I think I'll start with what's most important to you."

Hector's heart quickened with panic and struggled against his restraints. Wufei ventured back to the table and returned with the flailing knife. "This might sound a bit cliché, Hector, but this is going to hurt you more than it'll hurt me."

Minutes passed as Wufei tortured the man's manhood, ignoring his screams and convulsions. He stood, threw the knife to the side and wiped his brow with the back of his hand. "Don't worry, you won't die. Not from that."

Hector was dizzy from the pain as he begged Wufei to stop. It turned his stomach, hearing those words coming from him. "Are you seriously begging me, Hector? You want me to stop, right? Did she want you to stop? She begged you too, but you didn't. Now you know how she felt when you didn't stop. When you continued your torture a little piece of her died! I'm going to make sure more than just a piece of you dies!"

"Wufei," A voice came from the other side of the door. He dropped his angry façade and turned towards the door. Loud pounding shook the little cabin and the screams were incredibly angry.

"I think…that's for you." Hector stammered.

Wufei swallowed hard agreeing with his victim, "Unfortunately, I think it is."

"I can hear Wufei! You better open this fucking door before I blow it the fuck up!" Ayame shouted and continued to bang on the wood.

"Ayame go away." Wufei pleaded, "Just leave! I'll come back when I'm finished…"

"Finished?" Ayame questioned, "I won't let that happen. You need to let that man go, Wufei!"

Wufei stepped closer to the door and flattened his bloodied hand against the wood. He whispered, "I can't walk away from this Ayame."

Ayame copied to the same motion with her hand, she tapped her forehead against door and took a deep breath. "Wufei if you think you're doing this for me, you're wrong. If you sink any lower than you already have then you're just like that monster and that's now what I want."

Hearing those words cut him to the core, he swallowed shakily, "what do you want?"

"I want to go home Wufei. I want to forget everything that's happened. I want what you promised me, Wufei." Ayame chocked on her words as the lump in her throat broke free, "please Wufei. Take me home."

Duo approached Ayame and pulled her away from the door, "Fei open the door. Walk away from this and we can go back. We can leave here and start over; like we've always done. Do this for her Wufei, before you break her more than she already is."

The Deathscythe pilot glanced over his shoulder to Ayame who was crying into Trowa's shoulder. "She's crying again Wufei. You made her cry and its making me angry. So open this door right now or I swear there will be no god that will stop me for beating the absolute shit out of you."

He made Ayame cry; now he felt worse than before and what's worse. She probably hates him even more now. He looked over at Hector who was unconscious or dead. He didn't really care. Sighing deeply, he unlocked and opened the door. Stepping out he confronted the site of Trowa holding Ayame close to him as he tried to calm her down once more. He muttered something to her, her head snapped up and immediately she ran to him. She curtained him in the tightest hug as possible. Wufei avoided touching her with his stained hands as he returned the gesture and apologized to her and then to everyone else.

"Ayame go with Quatre, I don't want you to see this." Wufei uttered as he motioned for Quatre to come drag her off.

"What, no!" Ayame argued.

"Uh Ayame, I think you should do what Fei says." Duo mentioned as he joined the group, he didn't like it when Ayame gave him that pouting and big eyed look. Duo could never turn her down, but he looked to Heero and nodded. In return Heero grabbed Ayame by the arm and then swung her over his shoulder. Along with the two Japanese pilots, Quatre walked with to the car as Trowa and Duo stayed behind.

As soon as they were out of ear shot Duo stepped in front of Wufei and then punched him to the ground. "You're a fucking moron!"

Trowa attempted to step in, "Duo…"

"No! Do not defend him Trowa!" Duo snapped, "As much as all of hate that son of a bitch, he certainly didn't deserve that! You sick, sadistic bastard!"

"I was angry." Wufei mumbled as he rubbed his cheek, avoiding eye contact.

"And torturing that guy's dick makes it okay? You are so lucky Heero took her away, she would have come unglued if she saw that!"

Wufei got to his feet, hanging his head in shame.

"Nothing to say?" Duo asked throwing his hands up into the air, "what a big fucking surprise!"

This time Trowa forced space between the two pilots, "will he live Duo?"

He shook his head, flinging his braid side to side. "I don't know. He'll be lucky if he doesn't die from blood loss. That stab in his leg is pretty deep and close to the artery."

Trowa grimaced, "It's not like we can bring him with us. I hate to be the one to say this, but we should put him out of his misery and just leave."

"No." Wufei interrupted, "Ayame wouldn't like that."

"Oh now you care about what she likes?" Duo snapped being nudged away from the Chinese man once more, "do you know what she's been telling me for the last few weeks, Wufei? Ayame has been more worried about you than getting better and that's only because she wanted to know if you hated her. That's all she's been saying, that is all she cares about!"

Duo clenched his fist and looked away. Wufei was making him sick. He was just standing there taking his verbal assault without making a peep of retaliation, it was weird. His friend was so calm, but he looked like he had given up. "That's it, isn't it?"

Wufei questioned the frustrated pilot, "what is?"

"You're trying to make Ayame hate you, aren't you?" Duo asked. Trowa looked to Wufei with a slight shock expression. "You're more messed up over this then you're letting on, aren't you?"

Wufei gave up and collapsed to the dirt, holding his head in his hands, "yes. I'm too afraid to ask her if she hates me. I understand that it was her solo mission, but at that point where everything went wrong, she needed me and I wasn't there."

"So you're doing this so she'll say she hates you?" Duo asked as he shifted his weight onto one foot and crossed his arms over his chest. Wufei nodded in response, the other two sighed heavily and rolled their eyes in unison.

"No offense Wufei, but you're kind of an idiot." Trowa said, obviously agreeing with whatever Duo was thinking.

Wufei quipped sharply, "How am I an idiot?"

"Let me ask you this. Do you think Ayame would really hate you? Even after pulling a stunt like this, do you honestly believe that? You're her entire world, Fei. Besides us, you're her only family she has left. So how about instead of acting like a fucking moron, grow a pair and ask her if she hates you!"

The car ride home was quiet. No one was talking; there was a heavy cloud of suspense lingering over their heads and Heero could not drive fast enough. Duo, Trowa and Wufei hasn't told the other three what they did to ensure their safety. Ayame seemed incredibly agitated, her arms were crossed against her chest, one of her legs was bouncing and she wouldn't stop glaring at the back of Duo's head. Normally, he couldn't keep his trap shut at all. Duo sensed that, everyone could sense the hostility that Ayame was radiating, but they were all too afraid to comment on it.

**Author's Note: Okay! So a bit of a weird spot to stop, but it needed to end. At least we all know what Wufei is thinking and all I have to say is I would not want to be in the room for Ayame and Wufei's next heated conversation. Also, things might get a little physical…if you know what I mean. Please review!**


	8. Hold My Heart

**Chapter 8**

**Hold My Heart**

**Author's Note and Disclaimer: Time for some major drama woot! At this point I don't even know what will happen. I'm kind of excited. As always, please review**

Wufei didn't know what to do with himself as he watched her undress and place her weapons in their proper suitcases. She was too calm and frankly it was freaking him out. Obviously, Ayame was angry and judging by her silent treatment she was at the point where she might take one of her guns and shoot Wufei. Carefully, Wufei walked over to the closet and pulled out clean clothes for himself. Ayame sat on the edge of the bed and listened to the rifling of clothing dropping to the floor.

She had finished collecting her thoughts when Wufei joined her on the bed. His hands folded in his lap, slightly slouching and didn't know whether or not if he should meet her gaze. He was afraid to.

"Say something you idiot." Ayame whispered with a hint of agitation in her voice.

"There's nothing I can say or do to take back what I did." Wufei explained, "I wouldn't do it over again, if that's what you want to hear."

"No. That isn't what I want to hear." Ayame shouted as she stood and placed herself in front of the Chinese man, "I want to hear what you were going to say to me the other day!"

Wufei opened his mouth to say something, but he dropped it. Ayame grabbed his face and forced him to look her in the eye.

"Wufei, don't you dare hold back, not for my sake because, obviously, that hasn't stopped you!" Wufei winced at her words, but she continued; "now you tell me the god damn truth and just say the fucking words!"

"Do you hate me?" Wufei asked quietly at first.

"I can't hear you Wufei, speak up!" Ayame shouted back at him, getting into his face.

Wufei glared up at her, stood up and pushed her against the dresser. "I asked you if you hate me."

Ayame's angry expression was replaced with concern as Wufei buried his face in the nook of her neck and hugged her tight to his body.

"I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I didn't protect you and I feel terrible about it." Wufei mumbled as his hold became tighter.

Ayame sighed, "Wufei this is going to sound harsh, but you're a fucking moron."

Wufei pushed himself away, "how the hell am I a moron?!"

"Oh gee I don't know; is it because you tortured my attacker's dick with a flailing knife!" Ayame shouted.

"I'm sorry about that, I really am! But that jackass deserved everything he got!" Wufei shouted.

Ayame stepped forward and punched him square in the jaw, "that's not something for you to decide Wufei!"

Wufei rubbed the blood away from his chin as he glanced up at Ayame. His jaw dropped seeing tears threaten to spring free as her angry brow glared daggers at him. "Do you know how I felt when the others told me you disappeared? I felt like that asshole won! He won because he got to you! I just want things to go back to normal! I want to be able to look at you and not feel guilty or sick! I want to be able to love you without feeling like absolute shit!"

Ayame brought her arm up to cover her eyes as the tears began to fall freely. Wufei gently took her hand in his as she continued her rant. "I want you to hold up your part of the damn promise you made me!"

For a moment Wufei was confused, but then it came flooding back to him. The first conversation they had about this whole ordeal. He smiled contently as he brushed his fingers against her cheek, forming into air like hold when he tilted her head upwards. Wufei lowered her arm that was covering her eyes and cupped the other cheek—making the stray tears disappear with his thumb. They were inches away from each other, the tips of their noses touching.

Wufei looked lovingly into her eyes, "tell me what you want, Ayame."

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she tried to look away, but Wufei jerked her face so she was looking up at him. She was staring out the window when she muttered the words.

"Make me forget Wufei." She mumbled, angry that he was making her say this.

Wufei stepped closer and angled her head so that as soon as she said the words he would be ready to strike. "Say it louder, Ayame."

"Make me forget, Wufei, please."

The breath left Ayame having Wufei this close. To feel his lips on her cheek—she was a hopeless glob near him. She could see her reflection in his captivating black eyes and she looked so pathetic and hopeful. She ducked her head into his chest and took in his sent. Hoping he wouldn't push her away.

Wufei held her tight. His body instantly remembering just the way she fit into his arms, each of her curves settling right back into place as if they'd never parted. He knew what he was about to do was wrong, and that he only meant it as a friend. He did mean it like that right? He wasn't about to do anything was he?

He brought her chin up to face him once again. Wufei leaned in and for the first time in years he captured Ayame's lips in his. The softest of caresses stopped ever so briefly, letting the memories of the other night's events came flooding back before he dove in again. He pulled back quickly wanting to apologize and say that he didn't mean that.

"Ayame..." he whispered out, whatever he could have done lost as he stared at her once more getting lost in her eyes.

The feeling of Wufei on her was sweet and breathless. She wanted more, she wanted him to continue.

Ayame cut Wufei off, wrapped her arms around his neck and morphed her lips into his.

Ayame agreed with what he was thinking. They shuffled for a while until they almost tripping over the rug that was decorated underneath the bed. Wufei picked her up, while she broke away and nipped at his ear lobe and left gentle kisses on his neck. Reaching the bed, Wufei gently flopped Ayame on the bed and towered over her.

Ayame's heart was pounding, everything was on fire and all she wanted was Wufei. But at the same time she was terrified. She wanted to forget everything that has happened to her, everything that man did to her. The last thing she wanted to do was freak out in the middle of everything, but if there was one thing she was good at it was ignoring her gut screaming at her to do the opposite and run for the hills.

Wufei knew the look that was playing on Ayame's face all too well. He'd learned a few things since they'd been together, Wufei couldn't help but smile at their first night together. It was awkward, but hot.

He quickly stripped down to his boxers, letting his clothes fall to the floor. He grasped her waist and tugged the sweatpants down and off of her body. He smiled at the black panties she had on, they contrasted so well against her skin tone. He tugged at the sweatshirt, thankful that it came off of her just as easily.

With the two of them clad in only their underwear, he decided that it was far past time for them to both be naked. Without waiting he shrugged his boxers off and started to tug at the waistband of her panties, his hands ghosting over her thighs and down her legs stopping at her ankles.

Ayame let a tiny giggle pass her lips when her underwear graced her ankle. When the garment was gone, all that was left was her bra. She sat up, straddled Wufei's hips and cupped his face in her hands and brought their lips together. Wufei unclasped her bra and tossed it somewhere in the room.

Feeling Wufei's member against her skin, she moaned into his lips and tangled her hands in his hair-tugging at the roots.

"Wufei..." She murmured breaking away to breath, she stared into his eyes. Searching for a sign of nervousness in his eyes, but there were none. There was no turning back now.

"I'm here love. You know it." he breathed out, leaning in to kiss her neck softly. He remembered that point where her neck and collarbone met was especially sensitive. He licked and sucked at that point before kissing his way down to her breasts. He cupped them both, relishing the way they settled back into his hands. Her nipples were still readily accepting of his touch. He breathed on them lightly, causing them to stiffen up.

He continued his path, kissing down to her stomach he paused when he reached her thighs. He caressed them gently as he spread her legs, his kisses turning into licks as he teased her inner thighs, spreading her labia so he could rub her clit. He dove in to lick and suck at her clit, teasing her for a while as he spread her moist lips once more to slide his fingers inside of her wet and waiting pussy.

Ayame moaned as Wufei gently caressed her skin with his soft lips. Everything about him, the way he touched her was so familiar and wonderful. The dark memory of that night was slowly dissipating. With every stroke of his rough hands, but gentle all at once set her skin on fire.

Feeling Wufei on her heat; teasing her with his tongue. She moaned and arched her back, "oh, god…"

He didn't want to stop, how he didn't want to but he had to be inside of her. He reluctantly pulled away from her heat and rubbed her juices away from his face. "Ayame, I can't wait any longer," he moaned out as he pulled her up so she could straddle his waist. He slowly pulled her down on top of his cock as they both moaned at their coming together for the first time in weeks. The nagging memory of that oaf penetrating her so roughly was replaced by Wufei's ease and swiftness.

Feeling him stretch her walls, she clawed at his back-hugging his head to her chest. Ayame began to swivel her hips, her walls tightening around Wufei's cock, "Oh god Wufei…please..."

Wufei let a breath he hadn't known he was holding in. He smirked lightly as he let his mind go and grabbed Ayame's as firmly. He thrust up into her and pulled her down to impale her on his cock. Wufei continued like this for a while before he decided to get back to her cry for him, he leaned in and kissed her breasts. His tongue circling her perfect nipples, he couldn't resist taking one into his mouth and sucking it.

He turned her over staying connected, not wanting to leave her again, as they changed positions. Wufei leaned into her, pulled out almost to the tip of his hard cock and thrust into her deeper and more intently than before. He wanted to do his best to help her forget all of the horrible things she had been through. He knew no better way than making love to her so passionately that they'd want to do nothing but sleep the next day away.

"I'm here sweetheart. I'm here Ayame," he moaned, thrusting hard into her doing his best to hit her g-spot.

She didn't know how, but every time Wufei thrusted it seemed he was going deeper and deeper. Ayame arched her back and met his thrusts with equal force. She moaned his name and fisted the blankets tightly. "Jesus Ayame…" Wufei moaned as he brought their bodies closer together Wufei hooked his arms underneath Ayame's body and hid his face in the nook of her neck. His hot breath softened the skin before he nipped at her sensitive area and leaving a trail of soft kisses up to her ear and then back to her lips.

"Wufei…" Ayame whimpered her clit throbbing for attention. With how fast they were moving, how deep Wufei was thrusting, hitting her g-spot so perfectly, she wouldn't last much longer. "Wufei please, can I…"

Wufei thought for a minute, wondering what she was asking and realized what she wanted. His lips lingered by her ear, with a smirk pulling at his lips. "Do you want to come?" He asked with a hint of mischief in his voice.

Ayame breathlessly replied with a pleading glare in her eyes, "yes."

Wufei knew what he had to do, what they both needed—what they wanted. He unhooked his arms from underneath her, flipped her back on her back and leaned over her body. His face just barely grazed her skin with his lips. Lifting one of her legs, he kissed the back of knee and hoisted Ayame up onto his lap. Their hips joined together, her clit rubbing against his skin and his cock was angled to where it was pressed even harder against her g-spot.

Their breathing grew more rapid and hotter against the skin. Wufei gripped a handful of Ayame's hair and nudged her head backwards a bit, their eyes locking until Wufei's eyes rolled to the back of his head. Ayame took the advantage and nibbled on his chin, "Are you close, Wufei?"

In response, Wufei thrusts became swifter and deeper, making Ayame moan louder than she should have. "How was that?" He chuckled.

"Shut up and make me come." Ayame commanded, that hint of the warrior surfacing.

The fire that was slowly growing inside each other their bodies was beginning to over flow, "Come for me sweetheart, come only for me." His breath hot on her ears as he egged her on.

"Oh my god Wufei…" Ayame moaned her eyes rolling to the back of her head as her head fell back.

Wufei gritted his teeth when Ayame's walls tightened around his throbbing cock, he was getting close, but he wanted her to come first. He ducked his head into her neck and started to torture the sensitive area just behind her ear, until she was screaming his name. Writhing all over, her pussy's walls contracted against his dick, making it almost impossible to thrust any further.

When Ayame's orgasm was finished and with enough lubrication from her juices, Wufei was able to fuck her fast enough to where he came in moments, moaning her name to the heavens. When Wufei's turn passed they collapsed on the bed, the two still attached. Ayame's body was humming all over, tingling from head to toe. She lifted Wufei's head from her chest, rubbed a thumb underneath his eye and smiled sweetly. Wufei returned the smile while moving some loose strands of hair from her face and braced their lips together for a passionate kiss.

As much as he didn't want to leave her, but pulling out slowly, Wufei collapsed to the side—one arm cradling Ayame's tiny frame. She settled her head on his chest and watched him through her bangs. His heart beat lulled her to sleep and for the first time in weeks she was able to get some sleep without being interrupted by unfortunate memories.

**Author's Note: I know that victims of horrible attacks like this usually aren't quick to get back with their partners. But I feel like this was needed. Remember, if you or know anyone that has been attacked like please be there for them. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally. **


	9. Truth

**Chapter Nine**

**Author's Note and Disclaimer: You guys know the drill. I own nothing. Always review**

The warm sunlight beamed through the tiny cracks of the curtains. The light rained down on the sleeping forms, cuddling deeply into the mattress—dreaming of the peaceful days. Wufei held Ayame close with an arm wrapped around her tiny waist and the other laid out as a pillow for her. She was happy to snuggle with it as she never released Wufei's hand. Wufei was the first to lose to the morning's hello, he laid there for a moment and relished in the fact that his body felt weightless. All of the stress he had been carrying was finally lifted and some of his sexual frustration was gone. He wished last night lasted a bit longer, but that would be pushing it too far.

He nuzzled his nose in the nook of her neck and took in the light lingering smell of sweat with a mix of vanilla and honey. He squeezed her slightly, making her stir and back up into him. His cock pressed up against her ass, he moaned and kissed the sensitive area behind her ear causing her to scoot away. But he held her tightly and pulled her back into him.

Ayame whined, "Wufei please…I'm tired."

"Are you really?" He asked each word after he kissed the nook of her neck.

Ayame clutched the edge of the bed and stifled a moan while trying to escape, "Yes."

Wufei's hand traveled south and smoothed his hand over her sex; Ayame twitched and smacked his hand away. "Wufei please stop."

She was angry now, irritated that he wasn't listening like he usually did. Ayame forced herself out of his hold and tossed the blankets off herself, but on top of Wufei. She walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her with a huff.

Wufei cursed himself. She may be overreacting, but Ayame had good reason too. Just because they had sex last night doesn't mean he could force himself on her. He was so confused because he wasn't forcing himself on her, but at the same time he was. In frustration, Wufei shoved all of the blankets off and marched into the bathroom.

Ayame had an arm in the bathtub, testing the water as it rose, with a robe cascading over her thin body. Wufei watched as she seemed mesmerized by the water, he snapped back to reality when he saw a single tear trail down her cheek. She pretended it wasn't there; she acted as if nothing had just happened.

"Ayame you don't have to be sorry." Wufei muttered, "It was my fault. I shouldn't have done…"

"No its fine." Ayame stood, turned and grabbed a bottle of bubble bath soap and returned to the tub. When Wufei didn't say anything she glanced at him with a bright smile, "really I'm fine. You know I'm not a morning person."

That was true. Duo had learned that the hard way when he got the bright idea to wake her up at the crack of dawn after three day mission where she got no sleep. He received stitches and she got a lecturing.

Wufei crossed the room with ease, got to his knees and gently took the bottle from her hand. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly. "I'm still sorry."

Ayame remained by Wufei's side after their feeling jams and physical reunion. She was close enough not smoother him and she gave him his space whenever he was meditating. The others thought that Wufei would have lost his patience after the fifth day, but he honestly didn't seem to mind.

It was when Wufei was called away on a missed that Ayame didn't act like herself. She was distant, soft spoken and hardly ate or slept. Ayame had returned to her old, nasty habit of smoking and she seemed only deeply engrossed in training. She often turned to Heero as a sparring partner. If she wasn't training then she was pestering Howard about her Gundam, Eternal. She wanted to tinker with something that didn't feel anything—that just rolled with whatever Ayame was thinking.

"I'm starting to worry about her." Quatre admitted to the other remaining pilots, "Without Wufei here, Ayame seems more…"

Duo interrupted, "angry?"

Quatre nodded sadly, "what should we do?"

"We should do nothing." Heero replied twirling his spoon inside his grumpy cat coffee mug.

"But she's showing signs Sally warned us about." Quatre explained, "Should we at least talk to her?"

Heero disagreed, "the signs Sally informed us about were of depression. But from what I've seen from Ayame, is anger."

"I second that." Duo backed Heero up with a sly wink, "Quatre, I know where you're coming from and I know how it may look. But Ayame isn't depressed, well maybe just a little, but not as much as she was before. I think her and Wufei patched things up, but I'm guessing Ayame hasn't made her bed yet."

"What do you mean, Duo?" Quatre spoke.

"I think Ayame is coming to terms with the fact that she is the victim. Before she could fix herself, first, she jumped to help Wufei." Duo paused for a moment, "in fact Ayame is still doing that."

The other three pilots glanced at Duo questionably.

"Think about it. Ayame is completely different when Wufei is around and when he is not." Duo said.

"So she's just putting on a show for Wufei?" Trowa asked and then thought about the theory, "makes sense."

"Then explain it to me because I'm, obviously, still don't understand this." Quatre begged.

"You've seen how Ayame acts around Wufei, right? Bubbly, eating and full of energy, but since he's been gone she's been the exact opposite." Heero explained.

Quatre nodded, finally understanding, "so what you're saying is to leave Ayame alone and let her work this out herself? And only help her when she asks for it, correct?"

"No you're catching on!" Duo bellowed happily, "any questions?"

"Just one," Quatre answered. "What happens when Ayame doesn't come to us or Wufei for help?"

Everyone froze and thought about the poor bastard she did want to talk to.

Ayame was soaking in the hot springs. Her head lying on the towel that acted as a pillow while anchored herself in one spot. She starred up at the stars through the steam and counted to twenty in her head. She didn't know why, but her anxiety was beginning to build. She had kept her mind busy to try to ease the pressure, but at the end of the day she felt like she was drowning. She felt a hot sensation close to her mouth, realizing that her cigarette was getting to the end of the bud.

Flicking it away Ayame sunk deeper into the water, sighing as the calming water flooded her anxieties. Her mind began to wonder over the last time she and Wufei were together. His every touch, his every kiss and thrust filled her with lust, but in a split second it was replaced with horror. Soon, Hector's rough hands were on her—bruising her delicate skin. His voice took away Wufei's warm murmurs and threw them aside like trash.

A new wave of guilt grew in her gut and threatened to erupt. She held it at bay as she jumped out of the pool and rushed to a shrubbery. After spilling her guilt she crawled back to her spot and gathered her towel. Staggering towards the bathroom, her world began to spin and soon all she saw was black.

**Author's note: Duh DUh DUH~! Sorry this one is coming a little late. I needed a break from writing for a few days. As always, leave a review. **


	10. Desperation

**Chapter 10**

**Author's Note and Disclaimer: I'm so happy. I haven't gotten this far in a story in such a long time. Hopefully I don't run out of steam. You know what will keep me going besides ice cream, Gundam Wing music and drinking my body weight in tea? Reviews! Huge thanks to Jenni Jupiter who keeps pushing me forward with her awesome reviews!**

**As always I do not own Gundam Wing, sadly. **

All she heard were voices, panicked and worried voices. Feeling hands grab at her almost made her snap out of her sleep. Except her body felt so heavy, she could hardly breathe. Let alone move. Ayame heard people calling her name, they almost sounded like her parents, but deep in her mind she knew it wasn't them. They had been dead for almost ten years.

Just thinking about her parent's death shocked her awake; gasping for air Ayame bolted out of bed with a slight of terror to her scream. Trowa was out of his chair in seconds, grasping at her shoulders.

"Ayame, it's alright." Trowa coaxed, "you're safe."

She took in a few deep breaths and relaxed back into her bed. Automatically, she felt hot and sticky and knew she was just wearing her underwear.

"Don't get mad." Trowa said as he handed her a cup of water. "Your fever was so high we almost put you in a bath of ice water, luckily it broke early this morning."

"That explains why I feel like shit." Ayame said rubbing her temples; her head felt like someone had hit her with a hammer a couple of time. "How long have I been out?"

Trowa returned to hit chair, "for about five days. Quatre was the one that found you; he freaked out when he saw the blood." The usual quiet pilot pointed to her head. "You hit it pretty hard, ten stitches."

"Please tell me Duo didn't take all of the Excedrin for his hang over a few days ago." Ayame rubbed at her sore spots. Remembering the copious amount of alcohol the idiot pilot had consumed, if he were a woman he would be considered one of those loud and annoying girls in the bar that liked to dance on top of tables with their shirts off.

Trowa shook his head, "I'll ask Quatre to get some and some food. You're probably starving."

"Surprisingly no, I'm not hungry." Ayame answered and she wasn't lying. She couldn't put her finger on the emotion that was keeping her from eating, but it felt like guilt, shame, anger and hyper-vigilance all rolled up into one tiny package. It almost felt like the stomach flu, but at the same time it wasn't the virus.

When Quatre came to the door, he snuck a small smile pass the tall one and to Ayame. He mentioned something about forcing her eat if Ayame didn't eat on her own, meaning it was more of a promise than a threat.

Ayame had attempted to move to the edge of the bed, but as soon as she was able to swing her legs over her world began to spin. Trowa crossed the room in long strides and caught her just before she collapsed head first, again, onto the floor.

"You shouldn't move, at least not too quickly. Your body is still weak from your almost week long fever." Trowa was glancing down at her. He hadn't noticed it until now, but Ayame looked horrible. From a far, she looked ordinary, but being this close her Trowa could easily make out the dark, baggy circles underneath her eyes. Her skin was pale, glossy and dead. Her eyes mimicked the same dead look, but they were also cold. Duo was right. She was just putting on a show for Wufei and the rest of them.

"Trowa how long are you going to hold me?" Ayame's question snapped the clown back to reality and made him realized that he still had a hold around her thin frame.

He apologized, "where were you going?"

"For starters, the shower," she answered dryly. "I feel like I've been stuck in my cockpit for a week in the middle of the dessert."

"Don't you want to eat first?" Trowa asked, but he already knew the answer.

"No, I'd rather be cleansed and less smelly." Ayame joked as she hobbled to the bathroom, but she stopped abruptly and slightly turned her head to hear Trowa's voice. "Does Wufei know?"

Trowa lowered his eyes to the ground and shook his head, "no. He had to lay low for a while, but he is safe. Wufei got a hold of us a few hours ago, we couldn't tell him over the vid-phone; he should be back tomorrow night."

Turning her completely, facing him, Ayame smiled at him, "thank you for being honest with me."

It was the saddest smile Trowa had ever seen.

Now the next struggle was staring at her, well it would if it had a face, but it just sat there. Quatre was staring at her, making sure she ate every last crumb. The peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he had brought up thirty minutes ago hasn't been touched, but she had about ten cups of water and poked at the apple sauce with her spoon. She couldn't handle it; every time Ayame thought she could eat her stomach told her otherwise by doing flips and began to burn with rage.

"Ayame you need to eat." Quatre said shooting a worried glance towards Trowa, who remained in his chair.

"I know, but it's a little difficult." Ayame squirmed as far away from her food as much as she could.

"Why is it difficult, Ayame?" Quatre asked making her back stiffen. She had never seen Quatre's business man side, the cut throat and terrifying side that made Heero cringe. He was challenging her.

And she wasn't one to turn down a challenge. "I don't have to justify my lack of appetite to you Quatre."

Quatre countered, "what about Wufei?"

In returned Ayame shot him a death glare and growled, "Leave him out of this."

"Then explain it to me, Ayame. Because we're all convinced that you're slowly killing yourself up here! You never come out of this room, you don't eat and you don't sleep! When you do sleep you have terrible night terrors that wake the whole damn forest! You're more agitated than you've ever been and more angry at yourself than the monster that attacked you!"

"Shut up, Quatre." Ayame quipped.

"No!" Quatre snapped getting to his feet and grabbing Ayame by the shoulders. "You need to talk about what's going on with you! And you're going to do it right here, right now!"

Trowa attempted to step in, but Quatre shot him down with a warning. "No, no more coddling her Trowa."

"What do you want Quatre? Do you want me to bare my soul, spill my guts? Do you want me to be honest with how I'm feeling? Do you really want to know, Quatre?" Ayame asked pushing the blonde off of her. "Do you really want to know how it felt when that asshole dominated me and completely took over my body? How, no matter how much I fought back, I was powerless!"

As soon as she felt the tears staining her cheeks Ayame turned away from her audience and wiped them away. "I can't stand being here."

The two pilots looked at one another, completely shocked. "What do you mean, Ayame?" Trowa asked.

"Do you know how long it's been since I solely relied on someone other than myself?" Ayame rhetorically asked them, "My parents were killed in front of me ten years ago, I was five. Ever since my old rebellion's leader taught me how to use a gun and pilot a mobile suit at the age of seven I was on my own. I had my own back and occasionally carried someone else's. I haven't been a part of a family setting in so long I've completely forgotten how to function like a normal person.

"Don't get me wrong, I love being here with all of you. And I appreciate the things you have done for me. But given the situation and then being here with all of you constantly watching my every move, I can't help but feel smothered."

Quatre's cheerful disposition disappeared, hearing her true feelings made his heart ache, "does that go for Wufei as well? Are smothered by him, also? Be honest Ayame."

Ayame sunk her head, "yes. I love him and I know he would do anything to help me get through this, but as much as I want to rely on him. I can't. Call it stubbornness or habit, but I just can't seem to truly show him anything. I'm afraid if I do, I'll lose him forever." Ayame's knees caved as the weight of the memories of the loved ones she had lost destroyed her balance. "I've lost so many people and I don't think I could handle loosing Wufei."

Quatre knelt down to Ayame's level and rested a hand on her shoulder, she shooed it away, but only to have him repeat the gesture. "What do you need, Ayame?"

"I need to disappear, by myself, so I can work on things." She replied softly sobbing.

"What about Wufei?" Trowa asked.

"I hate to say it and as much as I love him," Ayame answered sadly, her eyes adverted to the floor, "but Wufei can't come with me."

Wufei has been with her from the very start, he held her while she cried and was there for her when her nightmares woke them both from a dead sleep. He made sure she was safe and kept her spirits up and the thought of leaving Wufei behind made Ayame's stomach turn with nervousness.

Quatre's arms enveloped his friend tightly as he let her cry out her frustrations. Trowa remained standing, watching as the scene unfolded before him. He caught someone standing outside the door, their elbow barely showing. He removed himself from the situation and met the person at the threshold. Trowa's heart sped up and his breath hitched in his throat. Wufei was leaning against the wall and looked as though he had been there for a while. There was stillness in Wufei's eyes that, for some reason, made Trowa feel extremely uneasy.

**Author's Note: WOO HOO CLIFFHANGERS! I'm thinking that this story is only going to be 12 chapters long. Chapter 12 might be an epilogue of sorts. Who knows what will happen in chapter 11, I mean that in a very sarcastic way. Because I'm actually the only one who truly knows. Please review!**


	11. Liberation

**Chapter 11**

**Author's Note and Disclaimer: So this chapter is most likely going to be either really short or really long. I'm not good on good-byes. I might re-do one of my other stories to make it take place after this one. **

**As always, I do not own Gundam Wing.**

Wufei didn't go inside the room right away; he decided to give Ayame time to collect her thoughts. He also needed to decide what he was going to do. Would he fight for her? Would he make her stay here or would he go with her? Or would he let her go? He'd rather stay with her, but he had to accept that Ayame needed to get through this by herself. He chuckled at her way of thinking. She was extremely independent and so stubborn at times; there could be no reasoning with her. Reasoning with her could get his ass kicked now that he thought about it.

Duo stalked around the corner to find Wufei sitting in the window seat, starring out into the forest. Trowa and Quatre had informed Heero and the braided idiot about Ayame's decision and how Wufei had overheard everything. Knowing Ayame the best and the longest, Duo could understand Ayame's way of thinking. He had seen too many girls cave into that despair and never saw them crawl out of it. He hoped that her vacation away from vacation would help her sort things out. He just prayed that her decision wouldn't strain the relationship she had with Wufei.

Duo approached the Chinese man with a shy smile but beaming eyes, "rough day?"

Wufei nodded as he made room for Duo to sit down. Normally he wouldn't invite his comrade to join him, but Duo seems to understand more about Ayame than he did.

"What should I do?" Wufei asked ducking his face in his knees, "I don't want to smother her, but I want to be with her."

"You know there's a saying the Father of my church once told me." Duo paused, "love will die if held too tightly, and love will fly if held to lightly."

"And what if I can't let her go?" Wufei asked.

Duo took a moment, rubbed his chin and starred at the floor. "Then I guess you're just going to have to live with the guilt."

Wufei wondered at his friend's statement, "guilt from what?"

Duo stood, but before leaving turned to his confused comrade, "the guilt of binding Ayame down."

After Duo disappeared into the kitchen Wufei sat there with that promised guilt already festering. He sat there for a few seconds longer, until he shot up and traveled towards their room at the speed of light.

Entering the room with a huff Wufei saw Ayame sitting on the bed with her bag packed and ready to go. "What took you so long?" Ayame asked frowning with shyness.

"You're just leaving without saying good-bye?" Wufei asked sounding angry.

"I am saying good-bye." Ayame began, "but not forever, Wufei. I know that my decision may not make much sense now, but it will."

Wufei joined her, clasping her hand and smoother over her knuckles. "So what you're saying is that we're not over?"

Ayame nodded, "No. I'm not done with this. I just need time to myself, to get over this hurdle."

Wufei pursed his lips, "what if you can't get over this hurdle? Will you come back to us, to me?"

He knew it seemed selfish to ask that question, but he wasn't prepared to let her go.

"If I can't get over this, by myself, I'll come back to you. I just need to see this through." Ayame answered, standing up and kneeling in front of him. She cupped his face in her hands and brought them together for a slow, passionate kiss.

"I'll always come back to you." Ayame spoke after she broke away from Wufei's perfect lips. "Just wait for me."

Saying good-bye to everyone didn't take long at all and it was as emotional as Ayame thought it would be. The others helped Ayame out in their own way. Quatre made her food and gave recipes to her that was some of her favorite dishes. Trowa had gone to several book shops and bought her many self-help books. She would find the letter that basically told her to read these books cover to cover or else. Duo had made her many mix tapes that covered every range of emotion that she might feel in the future. Heero told her about a safe house of his that she could borrow; it was a lot more secluded that Quatre's forest cottage. She appreciated all of the help and for the first time in months she could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

**Author's note: So I guess it turned out to be a short one. I'm sorry. I warned you guys, I'm not good on saying good-bye. The next chapter will be epilogue. **


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**Author's Note and Disclaimer: Thanks to everyone that stayed until the very end! As promised the last chapter in "At the Beginning" will be the epilogue. **

**I do not own Gundam Wing**

**9 Months Later**

It was a little time after the Endless Waltz incident when Ayame felt like she was ready to join the others. Nine months may have seemed long, but she was occupying herself with missions. She hadn't completely ignored the others—sometimes to the others, but mainly to Wufei. She wrote him every day, her letters were filled with her day's events or what chapter she was on in what book. She asked how he was doing, if he had killed Duo yet. Ayame always ended her letter with a declaration of love—a love for him.

Wufei wrote whenever he could, the end of the war and the incident had kept him busy, but he was happy to receive them. Knowing that she was doing well made him happy.

It was in a meeting where the five pilots and Lady Une were deciding which new candidates would be best suited in which department.

Lady Une was handed the file on the next candidate, she took one look at the name, chuckled and handed it to Quatre. Straight away the blonde pilot did a double take, gasped loudly and bolted out of his chair.

"Are you kidding me?" he shouted catching the attention of everyone else. Duo was the first to snatch the file away and basically had the same reaction.

Wufei was getting annoyed with the unnecessary loudness and decided to see what the fuss was about. "Why are all of you acting like a bunch of…" Wufei's voice drifted away as soon as he read the name.

"I'm sorry, what are we acting like?" Duo asked with a cocky grin spreading from ear to ear.

"Shut up Maxwell!" Wufei hissed as he shoved the file at the jokester pilot and ran out of the room.

The doors to the interview room busted open when Wufei thrusted inside. The girl in the chair turned at the sudden intrusion, her now waist length chestnut hair followed the turn gracefully. The dark doe like eyes glared questionably at Wufei.

Wufei's jaw dropped at the site of the girl that left nine months ago. Ayame had physically changed. She had grown a few inches, her weight was back to normal and the confidence was back in her face. Wufei charged towards Ayame, his jaw and eyes set with determination.

"Wufei what are you…" Ayame asked until Wufei brought Ayame in for a hug and interrupted her by covering her lips with his for a deep passionate kiss. "…doing?"

Wufei glared at her interviewee, mentally telling him to leave. As soon as he left the room scared, Wufei returned his gazes back to Ayame. "You could have told me you were joining the Preventers." Wufei said with a slight tone of annoyance and elatedness.

"I wanted to surprise you." Ayame smiled brightly her eyes shifting to the side, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. It was almost awkward feeling those lips on hers again; it was if they had started over again.

"Consider me surprised." Wufei chuckled leaning in once more to capture those lips that seemed to have become fuller. Ayame halted his progress and stepped out of his arms. "What is it?"

Ayame glanced at the floor for a moment before meeting his dark eyes. "Wufei I know I promised you that after I got over my hurdle that I would return to you."

"Yes, what of it? You're here, we can…"

"No. We can't." Ayame's attention didn't waver from Wufei's, "not yet. Not like this."

**The End**

**Author's Note: Mwuahahahahaha I am so evil! Beware my cliffhanger! **


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